Is this Weird?

My husband and I are thinking about child #2. We have a 19 month old "big boy" now, and he's starting to potty train. Pretty successfully with pee. He has reasonably dry diapers and pees a lot when he does go. He has good intake, so I think that we are potty training! No success with poo, but, it's a good sign to me that I MIGHT be able to have another baby. *Quick, before a tantrum changes my mind!* Haha!

But, when I think about having another baby, bonding, breastfeeding, etc. I feel like I will be greiving for my first son? He's alive and well but that is the only word that seems to fit what I think I will feel. I think I might be sad to lose that special bond with my first kiddo--he and I will never be just us 2 again. Has anyone had that feeling? I'm really afraid that I will not bond near as well with a second child. Especially if we have another boy? I don't know!

I'd love to hear if any of you that have just had a 2nd child, or have had these concerns or feelings with a subsequent 3rd, 4th, etc. Is this common? Weird?


  1. I know exactly what you mean. I went through a really rough period during my first trimester because of that grief, but it's gotten better. My big kid is excited that his baby is coming soon and I remember how much I loved being the big sibling, so I'm shifting my focus away from "I just got him civilized and manageable... and I'm gonna miss these times when it's just us!" to "He's really gonna love this baby and I can't wait for the day they get to play together and I look forward to loving on both of them together and separately!" It's not weird, IMO. It's adjusting to a new phase in life. Good luck!

  2. I have two boys who are 3 years apart. I don't think you will ever lose the bond you have with your son now but you will just create a completely new one with the next little life that joins your family. I am so mesmerized almost daily how two boys raised by the same parents can be so different from day 1.


  3. Not weird at all! My first two are nearly three years apart. Getting to do all that sweet baby bonding again is incredible! I will not lie, learning to juggle the needs/care for two can be challenging but with time you'll have a method that works beautifully!!! Watching your children bond and grow together, IMO is the GREATEST REWARD! You'll have two sweet individual personalities to love and nurture; your love for your child simply multiplies and grows!!!